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Last night, I was sitting on the couch, my laptop, appropriately enough, on my lap creating my canticle to Homeopathy Acquaintance Anniversary in which I had a little fun discussing homeopathic plutonium. Because Homeopathy Acquaintance anniversary is not yet over, I’ll apparently accept one added bit of fun at the bulk of The One Woo To Rule Them All afore it’s over. However, while I was accepting into the possibilities appropriate to me by diluting and succussing plutonium in adjustment to action all sorts of “Pluto-y” illnesses, I happened to cast through the channels, back what to my apprehensive eyes should arise but a bartering for aftermost night’s Hannity that absolutely bent my eye.

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Sean Hannity was activity to account that analytic fraud, John Edward. Yes, that John Edward, the guy who has taken algid account to new levels of acceptance by claiming he can allege with the dead. I was intrigued.

Now, baby readers, abounding are the depredations of pseudoscience, quackery, and abstruse babble that I accept endured for you, all in adjustment to accompany you about anniversary and every day (some weekends excepted) alone the finest in Insolence, both Respectful and not-so-Respectful. I’ve watched Jenny McCarthy. I’ve delved into the anti-vaccine aberration that is Generation Rescue and Age of Autism and the affectation advance that is Mike Adams’ NaturalNews.com. I’ve apprehend Vox Day. I’ve alike delved into the centermost base of boss white adeptness forester racist sites to the point area I acquainted like I bare a shower–nay, a hosing bottomward with a firehose–afterward. That’s why I briefly anticipation about actually–shudder–watching Hannity, all the bigger to address to do a blog column about it aftermost night and serve up the skepticism hot and fresh. I anticipation bigger of it, though. The acumen is that there are some things that I won’t do alike for my readers, and adversity through Sean Hannity’s smug, self-righteous, Limbaugh wannabe action is not one of them. I’ll accept to Rush occasionally if there’s a acumen to do so. Accept it or not, Rush is sometimes entertaining, his asininity on abounding affairs notwithstanding. Hannity, however, is Limbaugh, alone afterwards any of the wit or talent.

That doesn’t mean, however, that I won’t apprehend the archetype of John Edward’s actualization and accept a little fun with it, both for my action and (hopefully) yours.Before I start, let me aloof beginning my column by adage that I absolutely abhor self-proclaimed “psychics” like John Edward or Sylvia Browne. They are backbiting ghouls who casualty aloft accepting bodies who accept accomplished a tragedy. No bulk of blame is too abundant to abundance aloft such crooks. That actuality said, you can acquaint anon that Sean Hannity is clueless (what abroad is new?) by how he introduces the piece:

Psychic average John Edward is able-bodied accepted for his adeptness to affix the asleep with the admired ones they accept larboard behind, and while sometimes the affiliation could be upsetting, it’s not consistently the case.

Sean, Sean, Sean. Let me fix that account for you: “Con man John Edward is able-bodied accepted for his adeptness to use algid account to argue the accepting that he can allege with the dead.”

There, that’s abundant better.

Not surprisingly, Sean thinks himself a “skeptic”:

HANNITY: All right. I’m a bit of a skeptic. But you’re adage in accessories and actuality you don’t acknowledgment skeptics that much. You’re not aggravating to argue bodies to buy into what you’re doing.

EDWARD: Right.

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HANNITY: Why? Why don’t you feel a charge to avert what is a arguable practice?

EDWARD: That’s the reason, appropriate there. Because as anon as — as anon as you accept to avert something, again you’re acceptance that article needs defense. So I affectionate of, like — I appear from a abode of I’m a airy person. I accept in God. I would never avert my acceptance in God. Bodies either do accept or they don’t believe, and that’s OK. That’s their choice.

So I feel the aforementioned way about this. As anon as I go to a abode I accept to avert it, I feel like you anon lose. I accept no botheration acknowledgment it, though, or aggravating to advise about it.

Like wow, man. I’m so…like…awed by the profundity. I mean, really. Anticipate about it. As anon as you accept to avert something, like, maaaaan, it agency it’s article that needs defending. Whoa (channeling Keanu Reeves in The Matrix). Of course, this is a admirable (and appreciably lazy) alibi for not arresting his affirmation that he can acquaint with the dead. Indeed, the acumen John Edward feels that he “immediately loses” back he has to avert himself is because, well, what he does is indefensible and vile. He absolutely does lose anniversary and every any time he’s affected to avert his woo, mainly because he comes beyond as the glossy con man that he is. However, alike d that what Edward does were not indefensible and vile, if he can absolutely do what he says he can do, why not avert it? Why not prove it? Fame and abundance could be his. Oh, wait. Fame and abundance are already his. Aggravating to prove his adeptness scientifically can alone aching him. Refusing to “defend” himself keeps the gravy alternation rolling.

Now, let’s see what our citizen “skeptic” Sean Hannity has to say:

HANNITY: That’s fine. I’ve apprehend a lot about you, and I anticipate — and I’ve watched you a cardinal of times. I absolutely don’t accept an assessment one way or the added about what you do. I absolutely don’t. And I’ve watched and observed.

But I accept apparent bodies in your industry, aloof like in, you know, religious evangelicals. And I’m a Christian. I was built-in and aloft a Catholic. I’m a Christian. But I anticipate there are bodies that are frauds that are ministers.

Do you see bodies in your industry that you anticipate are frauds and hucksters and phonies and harmful?

It was very, absolute adamantine to arrest myself from bedlam out loud actively at this. Frauds and hucksters amid analytic mediums? Actuality a artifice and a bargain is the sine qua non of actuality a “psychic medium.” Well, maybe not in every case; a lot of psychics candidly accept they accept the adeptness to allege to the asleep or apprehend minds, or whatever. Indeed, abounding such hapless souls who accede to be activated beneath controlled altitude in, for example, James Randi’s Million Dollar Challenge, are candidly ashamed back they abort the test. They absolutely anticipation they had something, a aptitude that no one abroad (or alone absolute few) had, but the algid ablaze of science and absoluteness appearance them that they don’t. About inevitably, though, the self-delusion of such bodies is so abundant that they usually acquisition excuses to absolve why they failed, best about involving article bruised like not actuality able to action beneath the altitude they had agreed to beforehand.

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I additionally absolutely like Hannity’s affirmation that he has “no assessment one way or the other” about what Edward and added “psychic mediums” do. Really? That would explain a lot about how day afterwards day Hannity can bowl out appropriate addition talking credibility so asinine that they accomplish any able bourgeois blench in embarrassment. Of course, it’s additionally adequately agreeable in that Hannity about consistently has an assessment about appealing abundant aggregate he anytime talks about. Why no assessment here? Maybe it’s because he’s announcement Edward’s latest endeavor. Whatever the reason, John Edward’s acknowledgment is a bout de force of, well, authentic bullshit. (There’s aloof no added chat for it.) Showing that he has absolutely no faculty of irony (or conceivably such a cautiously developed faculty of irony that he puts us all to shame), John Edward has a acknowledgment that about fabricated my arch backfire back I apprehend it:

EDWARD: I absolutely anticipate that there are individuals. I mean, I anticipate there are bodies who absolutely seek an opportunity, and they can do that. And that’s one of the affidavit why it’s important for bodies to empower themselves with information, so that they apperceive what’s real, what’s not real. Like, I don’t believe, personally, that all these able psychics would be sitting at home cat-and-mouse for you to alarm them on a 900 line. I don’t see that.

HANNITY: That’s what I mean. That’s fair.

Ah, skepticism! (Kind of like “Ah, Venice!” but afterwards Harrison Ford and the .) That’s right, folks. Edward is cogent you to arm yourself with advice and watch out for those awful affected psychics. Be “empowered,” aloof like Jenny McCarthy “empowers” parents and Hulda Clark “empowers” blight patients. Personally, my antiphon would be that I don’t accept alone that a absolutely able analytic (if such a actuality existed) would be scamming the accepting on TV and on the Internet, as John Edward does. But that’s aloof me.

Hannity does try to authenticate some absolute skepticism afterwards in the interview. The botheration is, he’s accomplishing it wrong:

HANNITY: It’s a abundant book. And it talks about — and I, back I apprehend this book about how he had absolutely been, you know, declared dead, went to heaven, describes the arena in the book, and it’s absolute believable to me.

Hypnosis I accept is real. The alone botheration I assumption I accept is that, you know, if God or somebody who anesthetized on in my activity capital to allocution to me, why wouldn’t they appear anon to me? Why would I charge you?

Shockingly, admitting all the mystical nonsense about a near-death acquaintance and description of heaven that preceded it, that’s absolutely not that bad a question. If he exists and capital to canyon on a bulletin to me (or anyone else), why would God charge a bargain like Edward as a messenger? If there absolutely was activity afterwards death, and the asleep capital to get a bulletin to the living, why would they charge addition like Edward? Naturally, Edward has a response:

EDWARD: I anticipate they do. That’s a abundant question. I anticipate they do. And one of my — one of my things, you know, back I was a kid, and I started accomplishing this 25 years ago, my grandmother would apprehend me say to my clients, you know, “You don’t charge me. If you pay absorption to the activity that’s about you, you’ll be able to admit the signs and syms of how your ancestors communicates with you.”

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And again these bodies leave, and my grandmother would go, “What are you cogent bodies actuality like that for? You’re not activity to accept any business.”

And I’m like, “Listen, it’s not about business. It’s about teaching.” And I said, “And if I can, you know, accession somebody’s acquaintance to admit that they’re family’s OK.”

Such a acceptable animal actuality that John Edward. A approved humanitarian, that guy. Everyone can allege with God or the dead. They aloof don’t apperceive how, and Edward, benevolent and caring body that he is, aloof wants to advise them. Still, Hannity tries on his agnostic shoes one added time. He does it poorly, but at atomic he tries. Sort of. He asks Edward if he uses algid account or microphones:

HANNITY: Do you absolutely apprehend voices? Because as — look, I’ve apprehend all your critics. I apprehend the New York Times magazine. I apprehend the accomplished dateline thing. TIME accusing you of application these absolute — you know, algid read, area you can apprehend people.

I’ve been able to apprehend bodies my absolute life, because I’ve interviewed bodies now for 20-some-odd years. So you can apprehend bodies that way.

Or Houdini acclimated to accept microphones, and he’d aces up stories, and again he’d assume like a genius: “I apperceive absolutely what you’re thinking.” But meanwhile, they’d best that up earlier. So there are techniques that hucksters and artifice bodies use. You’re adage you never use that?

EDWARD: Never. No, actually…

HANNITY: Never? Do you use advancing questions?

EDWARD: No.

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HANNITY: Never? I’ve watched your show. You assume to ask, like…

EDWARD: I’ll ask questions to advice bodies validate the information, so that if I’m accepting information, I appetite to apperceive that I’m absolutely adage that.

But one of the things that I — I alarm that apathetic mediumship, actually. And back I say “lazy mediumship,” it’s like I can say to you, “Is your dad passed?” And you can say yes or no.

Or I can say, “Your dad has passed, yes?” I’m basically giving you the aforementioned advice and I’m allurement you to validate, because I don’t know…

Of course, advancing questions are not absolutely a all-important allotment of algid reading. At least, they don’t accept to be. Algid account tends to absorb allurement questions for which the accepted acknowledgment would be common, about throwing out so abounding questions and options, the acknowledgment to the all-inclusive majority of which is “no.” However, back the algid clairvoyant asks abundant questions, eventually or afterwards he gets a “hit” that allows him to hone in added on what he wants to learn. This is accepted in the analytic bluff biz as “fishing for details.” Bob Carroll elaborates:

Fishing is a absolute art and a acceptable clairvoyant carries a array of allurement in his memory. For example, able clairvoyant and columnist of one of the best books on algid reading, Ian Rowland (2002), says that he has committed to anamnesis such things as the best accepted macho and changeable names and a account of items acceptable to be lying about the abode such as an old calendar, a photo album, bi-weekly clippings, and so on. Rowland additionally works on assertive capacity that are acceptable to bell with best bodies who argue psychics: love, money, career, health, and travel.

Also, animal attributes actuality what it is the mark and admirers about bethink the few hits and balloon the many, abounding misses. Clearly (and not surprisingly), Hannity is calmly snookered because he artlessly doesn’t accept what algid account is. It additionally doesn’t advice that Edward lies like a rug, as approved actuality back he denies alteration his appearance in adjustment to annihilate best of the “misses” of algid reading:

HANNITY: Let me ask you this. Did you — in your appearance do you adapt out genitalia that doesn’t accomplish you attending good, as TIME magazine?

EDWARD: You can absolutely — you can allege to every…

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HANNITY: You apprehend the allotment that said that you do?

EDWARD: Absolutely.

HANNITY: You don’t do that?

EDWARD: They adapt it for time. Bodies adapt for time. But if they took out things that were inaccurate, they took out things that were added accurate, I acquaint them all the time, if you see this assignment done live, it’s bigger than what you would see on TV.

Actually, maybe Edward is not absolutely lying. Notice how he never absolutely denied alteration out genitalia that accomplish him attending bad. He never absolutely said, “No, I don’t do that.” Instead, he confused on to alteration for time. Absolute clever. Well, not really, but it was abundant for Hannity, who assured with this gem:

And I achievement you use it for good. And not like some of these hucksters. These bodies in New York are nuts, you know, that allegedly do this for a living.

Because, you know, to Sean Hannity all those added psychics added than John Edward are hucksters. There absolutely are “real” psychics, and John Edward is one of them. Not alone that, but John Edward is application his aptitude for good. Acceptable for John Edward, that is, decidedly his coffer account and advance portfolio. Additionally acceptable for announcement his awfully woo-filled new website, Infinite Quest, which requires a associates (both chargeless and paid, of course). It’s all there: Astrology, Tarot, numerology, reincarnation, another medicine. And I’m abiding it will accomplish John Edward lots of money.

No admiration Hannity was able to parrot so accurately Bush Administration talking credibility all those years.

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