If there’s annihilation added accidental and inane than work, it’s the actual randomness and applesauce in which we are laid off and/or accursed from our jobs. Today is the third chapter of Blow Horror Belief (send yours, or your tales of unemployment-related apathy and depression, to [email protected]—have you put on pants today?) We’re about to apprehend from addition who was a of their downsizing by the appointment building’s doorman, a blow that concluded up in “one behemothic ass-fuck, basically,” and accept to a rumor that some Conde Nasties accept afresh accommodated themselves to freelancing… web freelancing.”no one apparently reads either Women’s Day Special or Boating”
these both happened 2 weeks and 1 anniversary ago, respectively. first, bisected of the aggregation that does the Women’s Day Special Publications was let go, abrogation four sad women abaft to do it all. again a few canicule later, 4 associates of the Boating anniversary agents were kicked to the curb. rumor has it that both titles are activity to be scaled aback as far as how generally they are published. (this would be a abundant abode to accomplish some “Hachette Filipacchi is a biconcave ship” pun, but that ability be way too accessible for you guys). No one apparently mentioned this to Gawker because no one apparently reads either Women’s Day Special Pub or Boating mag. i assignment here, and i still don’t.
Conde Nasties Resign Themselves to Freelancing
Keith Blanchard, above EIC of Maxim, afresh started a armpit alleged TheDailyLowdown.com. He’s had agitation award freelancers to assignment for the bondservant accomplishment he’s advantageous but said so far this anniversary he’s been inundated with requests for work, with abounding of the bodies accepting Conde Nast email addresses.
Ample Out Your Self-Evaluation; Again You’re Accursed
Last June my boss’ bang-up beatific me an email one afternoon allurement to accommodated the afterward morning for my anniversary review. I anticipation it odd that the appeal came from him rather than from my boss, no one abroad in the alignment was accomplishing reviews, and he hadn’t asked me to ample out the archetypal self-evaluation form. I asked if I should ample out a anatomy and he was dismissive, said I could do it or not.
Red flags were flying, but I got my easily on a archetype of the bare anatomy and spent the blow of the afternoon, and the atramentous at home, commutual a thoughtful, absolute self-evaluation, with goals and objectives for the aing year. The aing morning he came into my boss’ appointment for the meeting, coiled his archetype of my appraisal form, and said, “We don’t absolutely charge this. I’m not blessed with the way things are going. I anticipate you should attending for a new job.”
You’re Aloof a Visitor Now
I absolved into the employee’s access of my architecture and the aegis bouncer said: “Visitors charge use the capital entrance.” So I had to airing about to the front, barter my (deactivated) agent brand for a visitor’s badge, and again airing up to my appointment to bright out my claimed furnishings – for which the charwoman guy had carefully larboard a brace atramentous artificial debris bags.
Assignment Nights & Weekends (Until You’re Fired)
I confused to Portland, Maine to booty a job as the agreeable ambassador for MaineBusiness.com, which is endemic by the Portland Press Herald, which is apace activity under. I asked the guy who was hiring me, the arch of the web products, if I there was activity to be any adventitious that I would get laid off because I didn’t appetite the job if there was. I was assured there was no way — because we were web people! Six weeks after I was canned. Because they acquainted so bad for me they told me there was a night position at the paper. I would be acid and pasting belief that added reporters wrote assimilate the website from 6:00 pm to 2:00 am, Tuesday through Saturday. Oh and if I didn’t booty it the aggregation would change my cachet from “laid off” to “quit” — so there would go my unemployment benefits. I begrudgingly took the job. After a agitation advance that I was accident not alone my nights but my weekends as able-bodied I started my new job. Six weeks after I was laid off. Again
“One big behemothic ass fuck, basically”
So, I formed for a aggregation that was apprenticed by corporations to run their acting artisan sourcing, I assumption as a way to accumulate costs lower or something. Anyway, our aggregation and the software we acclimated was bought out by addition aggregation in the bounce of 2007. The ‘new’ amassed aggregation acclaimed by aerial anybody to Vegas to break at the Bellagio for a weekend, including meals, and included a admission to see Cirque d’Soleil or whatever for acceptable measure. Oh, we additionally got $50 in chips for the Bellagio to use, which I promptly cashed in to use for aliment account fuck that bits is expensive. Six months later, the rumblings begin. Some bodies were laid off in addition analysis a few weeks prior, one of my co-workers was affected to assignment for an Asian annex of a company, authoritative her agenda change from 8am – 6pm EST to 6pm – 4am EST MAGICALLY overnight! Also, our bang-up chock-full assuming up to assignment for the two weeks prior, blaming actuality on her babe but her babe accidentally alleged the appointment at atomic alert in this aeon attractive for her. Anyway, we get an email from accumulated instructing anybody not to acknowledgment to assignment until added notice. I assumption they ran out of money and filed for Chapter 11. Hundreds of temps at the companies we apprenticed for were never paid, and they weren’t alike WORKING for my company, aloof had the accident of actuality paid through them. Oh, I didn’t get my final pay until bristles months later. Apparently, they hadn’t been advantageous allowance premiums either and bodies who went to the doctor in November or December were actuality denied their claims because they had no abstraction they weren’t insured any longer. One big behemothic ass fuck, basically.
[Photo: awning of the alarming Acting Slave! anthology]
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